Cuts, Heartbreak

Hey people, how's everybody doing? Well, I hope everyone is enjoying life the way it should be. :)

Peeps, when God gives you a second chance, you definitely need to use it wisely. I made a huge mistake, and I've come to my senses and repented. Am still on my way to have God's blessings and forgiveness.

InsyaAllah, usaha tangga kejayaan.

I do believe that there are no such thing as perfect in this world. Only Allah is perfect. So, we as human, dont ever think that we are perfect. I do admit that I'm not perfect. I make mistakes. I'm only human. And so are you. Who are you to punish me? If this thing or mistake that I've made is between God and I. Please, before you go around and tell others what I'm like, I need you to please go look yourself in the mirror in the first place.  What do you see? Perfection? Nonsense.

I've been trying my best to forget about my past. It was dark, heavy and filled with sins. I've evolved -- to the better. I'm better in person now, I suppose. All these things that has befallen me, bad things, or I would like to say it as blessings in disguise is just God's way of showing me the right path. I took it as a lesson. Life lessons. As what I believe; experience is the best teacher.

I had a moment. A point of giving up. I was almost there to end everything. But Alhamdulillah, I came to my senses. Astaghfirullah. What am I doing? This wont solve anything. So I stopped and took a deep breath. I recited the Syahadah.

How painful it is to see a friend of yours stabbed you from the back. Wait, no. From the front. My goodness, people can be such hypocrites these days. Back then, when I was in need of help, you were there for me. I thought you're a keeper. But now that I know, you certainly aren't! You were the one who said this and that about him. Saying that he doesnt deserve to live. You know that that incident will happen. You said that you can read his body language. You hated him. I defended him. I said it was all my fault, and it's his choice. You! YES you! You said NO! It's his fault. Ya Allah, M. How could you do this to me? How could you?

Again, heartbroken I am. Heartbroken.

Cuts! To cut is to feel relieved. Cuts! Why do they hurt this bad? My heart, it's hurting. Ya Allah help me. Give me the guidance that I need.